Relationship Help
Nov 20, 2012 21:33:51 GMT
Post by sundancewolf on Nov 20, 2012 21:33:51 GMT
It was suggested to me that I post my issues here so that I can seek more help, and to make a couple lists.
I recently left my mate of 5 years for someone else. I have had a pattern with this but this is the first time ever where I find myself longing to return to my mate... I have a white knight who treats me like I've only dreamed! Here's the list... please feel free to lend advice etc... I'm in turmoil right now to the point I'm seeing a therapist and my stomach is always turning...
Why I started Dating my Mate
the most attractive man I've ever met
funny
charismatic
intelligent
amazing actor
musician
kind
interesting
I felt a deep connection with him, this was it! he was the one!
gamer/larper
helped me clean
he saw himself being married to me
imaginative
silly
didn't care what others thought of him
genuine
great smile
crazy dare devil personality
beautiful hair, let it grow long (mullet style)
beautiful eyes (light brown and stunning!)
a good friend
he liked my cats and was an animal person
was in love with me
playful
let me be myself
cared about me and watched over me and talked to me
trusted me
creative, amazing builder who had potential to build a house
Why I stayed with my Mate
attractive
best guy in bed ever!
good singing voice
has a wonderful ear for music, someone I could harmonize with who could hold melody
shared dreams of mine (house, pets, family, larp theatre, music, comics)
fellow Therian/Furrie
gamer/larper
creative
good work ethic
I knew who he was, sad and troubled, I wanted to help him, I saw him truly for who he was
shared strange disgusting habit (no I'm not telling)
warm body
wonderful scent
my body chemistry didn't reject him
he made me sentimental things like metal flowers etc...
helped me keep my car running
helped me with my computer
installed games for me
installed Windows
gave me adobe suite
shared money
he believed that people shouldn't celebrate love on holidays, that it was something to be done when it felt right <3
found me to be cute and silly
thought I was beautiful
said I was the best girl friend ever
romantic in the beginning
knowledge of electricity
could fix just about anything be it software or appliance (even non computers)
I could watch him play video games
Why I left my Mate
abusive
we only spent time together while sleeping...
called me names
struck me once
towered over me physically... meaning he'd plant his stance so I couldn't pass etc...
neglected me
controlled me
manipulated me
treated me like I was stupid
abandoned me a lot
insulted me
walked away when I needed him
didn't help out with chores
would make a mess 5 minutes after I cleaned
would blame me for losing his stuff that he misplaced
was really mean to my cats, they were afraid of him and became fearful of others too
almost never said thank you
left me alone at the dinner table instead of sitting with me as I finished
would ignore me and become non-responsive
didn't care if I was hurt
stopped sharing money
ate all my food when his ran out even my special treats (without asking)
stopped finding me cute, fun, and funny
said romance was "gay" or "lame"
let his mother plant a seed of poison in our relationship
he'd yell at me and snap at me a lot
he'd be selfish and please himself while I was in the other room crying my eyes out
stopped caring about my feelings
stopped caring about spending time with me
didn't care what I felt or wanted
stopped wanting me to be happy, was checked out and didn't seem to care
he stopped enjoying playing video games with me
he couldn't get over any of our fights
didn't take blame for his part in our fights, blamed me
he never listened to me
he would lie to me to push me away while the whole time not meaning to hurt me but hurt me anyways... enough was enough... even though I knew he didn't mean it, my heart was dying
Why I want to see my Mate again
I miss his face
I miss his laugh
I miss his voice
I miss his smile
he's good with computers
he's very creative
I'm forgiving him
he thinks I'm beautiful
I want our dreams we shared back
I want to draw comics together
I want to Role Play together (table top and larp)
I want to be the only "mate" for him
I miss his touch
I miss his kindness when he was kind
even after saying he didn't want me anymore, he recanted it because he was angry and hurt at the time... he still wants me to come home
I want another chance for us to make it now that we've had a break
he misses my scent
he misses my voice
he misses hearing me sing and draw
Why I started Dating Tom
White Knight!
cared about me
talked to me
showed me I wasn't crazy
had the best advice
showed me I was loved by people
was always there for me
was always supportive of me
loved animals
equestrian
recognized me for who I was deep down inside! like maybe half a dozen people have done that!
so kind
strong, martial artist
artist -drawing etc...
creative
gamer/larper
good work ethic
intelligent
protective
loyal to the end
gentile
I know what the right choice would be... but I'm still hurting and don't know what to do... something to ad is also that my family loves Tom and he has been paying my bills including car payment... I've never had a partner before... I help out at home. He just wants me happy and hopes that I stay. He's also 25 years older than me and has 3 sons, 2 younger than me and 1 older than me. My mate is 5 years younger than me. I could have kids or not... I know with Tom I won't... eventhough he said he'd change things for me so we could if I wanted them... I know I could have them for sure with my mate... Tom says I'd make a great mom and it's why so many youngen' often flock to me for help and guidance... I have patience, I show that with my animals, I'm also very attentive. I don't know what to do anymore...
I recently left my mate of 5 years for someone else. I have had a pattern with this but this is the first time ever where I find myself longing to return to my mate... I have a white knight who treats me like I've only dreamed! Here's the list... please feel free to lend advice etc... I'm in turmoil right now to the point I'm seeing a therapist and my stomach is always turning...
Why I started Dating my Mate
the most attractive man I've ever met
funny
charismatic
intelligent
amazing actor
musician
kind
interesting
I felt a deep connection with him, this was it! he was the one!
gamer/larper
helped me clean
he saw himself being married to me
imaginative
silly
didn't care what others thought of him
genuine
great smile
crazy dare devil personality
beautiful hair, let it grow long (mullet style)
beautiful eyes (light brown and stunning!)
a good friend
he liked my cats and was an animal person
was in love with me
playful
let me be myself
cared about me and watched over me and talked to me
trusted me
creative, amazing builder who had potential to build a house
Why I stayed with my Mate
attractive
best guy in bed ever!
good singing voice
has a wonderful ear for music, someone I could harmonize with who could hold melody
shared dreams of mine (house, pets, family, larp theatre, music, comics)
fellow Therian/Furrie
gamer/larper
creative
good work ethic
I knew who he was, sad and troubled, I wanted to help him, I saw him truly for who he was
shared strange disgusting habit (no I'm not telling)
warm body
wonderful scent
my body chemistry didn't reject him
he made me sentimental things like metal flowers etc...
helped me keep my car running
helped me with my computer
installed games for me
installed Windows
gave me adobe suite
shared money
he believed that people shouldn't celebrate love on holidays, that it was something to be done when it felt right <3
found me to be cute and silly
thought I was beautiful
said I was the best girl friend ever
romantic in the beginning
knowledge of electricity
could fix just about anything be it software or appliance (even non computers)
I could watch him play video games
Why I left my Mate
abusive
we only spent time together while sleeping...
called me names
struck me once
towered over me physically... meaning he'd plant his stance so I couldn't pass etc...
neglected me
controlled me
manipulated me
treated me like I was stupid
abandoned me a lot
insulted me
walked away when I needed him
didn't help out with chores
would make a mess 5 minutes after I cleaned
would blame me for losing his stuff that he misplaced
was really mean to my cats, they were afraid of him and became fearful of others too
almost never said thank you
left me alone at the dinner table instead of sitting with me as I finished
would ignore me and become non-responsive
didn't care if I was hurt
stopped sharing money
ate all my food when his ran out even my special treats (without asking)
stopped finding me cute, fun, and funny
said romance was "gay" or "lame"
let his mother plant a seed of poison in our relationship
he'd yell at me and snap at me a lot
he'd be selfish and please himself while I was in the other room crying my eyes out
stopped caring about my feelings
stopped caring about spending time with me
didn't care what I felt or wanted
stopped wanting me to be happy, was checked out and didn't seem to care
he stopped enjoying playing video games with me
he couldn't get over any of our fights
didn't take blame for his part in our fights, blamed me
he never listened to me
he would lie to me to push me away while the whole time not meaning to hurt me but hurt me anyways... enough was enough... even though I knew he didn't mean it, my heart was dying
Why I want to see my Mate again
I miss his face
I miss his laugh
I miss his voice
I miss his smile
he's good with computers
he's very creative
I'm forgiving him
he thinks I'm beautiful
I want our dreams we shared back
I want to draw comics together
I want to Role Play together (table top and larp)
I want to be the only "mate" for him
I miss his touch
I miss his kindness when he was kind
even after saying he didn't want me anymore, he recanted it because he was angry and hurt at the time... he still wants me to come home
I want another chance for us to make it now that we've had a break
he misses my scent
he misses my voice
he misses hearing me sing and draw
Why I started Dating Tom
White Knight!
cared about me
talked to me
showed me I wasn't crazy
had the best advice
showed me I was loved by people
was always there for me
was always supportive of me
loved animals
equestrian
recognized me for who I was deep down inside! like maybe half a dozen people have done that!
so kind
strong, martial artist
artist -drawing etc...
creative
gamer/larper
good work ethic
intelligent
protective
loyal to the end
gentile
I know what the right choice would be... but I'm still hurting and don't know what to do... something to ad is also that my family loves Tom and he has been paying my bills including car payment... I've never had a partner before... I help out at home. He just wants me happy and hopes that I stay. He's also 25 years older than me and has 3 sons, 2 younger than me and 1 older than me. My mate is 5 years younger than me. I could have kids or not... I know with Tom I won't... eventhough he said he'd change things for me so we could if I wanted them... I know I could have them for sure with my mate... Tom says I'd make a great mom and it's why so many youngen' often flock to me for help and guidance... I have patience, I show that with my animals, I'm also very attentive. I don't know what to do anymore...