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Post by kodiakthewolf on Dec 16, 2015 2:49:15 GMT
So my mom found out that I'm a Therian. We were cleaning out a cabinet and I asked my mom if I could have a name book that she was throwing away. She said, "No, and you know what, I've been looking through your phone. What is this thing where you think you're a wolf or a cat?" I didn't answer. My sister was there helping and she was just laughing. I don't know why she chose then to bring it up so it kind of caught me off gaurd.
Later, when we were with my therapist, she brought it up again. When I tried explaining that it is simply what I believe she said "You are not a cat, you are a human girl!"
She is really Christian and she hates that I'm not or that I have any beliefs that go against it. This resulted with me yelling, "How would you like it if somebody told you that what you believed was wrong and that Christianity wasn't real?" She said that there is scientific proof that Jesus was a real person. It's like I can't have my own beliefs. We haven't talked about it since.
Im having a really hard time with this. Does anybody have any advice on how I can get my mom to understand me better.
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Kasumi Noxumbra
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Just don't know what to do........every effort almost feels wasted
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Post by Kasumi Noxumbra on Dec 16, 2015 4:04:57 GMT
I really wish I knew what exactly to say, but I've never experienced having to tell anyone else in real life about my beliefs. Only thing I can really think of is to ask what her beliefs are of spirituality, and/or possibly explain that you don't think you are a wolf/cat physically but believe you may be on an integral level(either spiritual or psychological depending on what you feel it is).
Something I've realized with most Christians is that they don't like it when their religion/beliefs are challenged by something else whether it be in theory or if there is scientific proof that they may be wrong. I completely understand the feeling of wanting family to understand our beliefs. There have been a lot of times where I really wanted to tell my family, but when I figured it really didn't matter that I didn't tell them, I've just been sure to not hint at anything so I avoid any unnecessary conflicts. Hopefully someone else will have some better advice for this issue you've got. I hope it all works out. n_n
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Seraphyna
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Post by Seraphyna on Dec 16, 2015 13:21:02 GMT
Well, Jesus was a real person...but him being the son of God is entirely a belief. Anyhow, I find an easy parallel that people are generally familiar with to be gender identity in that, in both cases, one does not identify as their physical reality. Of course if she's a staunch Christian I'm not sure that will help. You might just have to explain your beliefs and why you hold them. I think it would also help to discuss it with your therapist, without your mother, so your therapist can vouch for you and try to get your mother to stop being so unreasonable.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 16, 2015 15:12:31 GMT
It's entirely up to you for make the personal choice. Everyone is different. Weigh in the pro and cons of telling her. No one knows her better than you do. Sad to say that most people like that do not change their thoughts on certain topics easily, if ever. I agree with Seraphyna that it would be a good idea to discuss this with your therapist without your mother there. |
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Ke 'ano
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You're out of your mind, you know that?!" "It's taken a lifetime of practice."
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Post by Ke 'ano on Dec 16, 2015 16:14:35 GMT
If your mother is as unreasonable as my Christian mother, explaining things will only do so much. When my mother learned that I have very different beliefs than she does, we went through a period of falling out and arguing too, then we just never spoke about it. She too tried to force me to see her point of view.
At the end of it all, the only resolution we could come to was acceptance. I had to accept that her beliefs would hold her back from understanding mine. She had to accept that I'm different. It took years of strife and disagreement to reach that stage, but it happened.
I hope that at the very least you and your mother can reach a level of understanding similar to my mother and I.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 16, 2015 17:55:55 GMT
Aaaaaaand this is why you clean your phone history and dont leave any pages open...
Well, I second some of the posts here, you could explain how your beliefs differ from hers.
You could also say that the Bible is prophesies that are warnings to the future generations and that there are a lot of spiritual mysteries that Jesus or God never mentioned. (Basic-Instructions-Before-Leaving-Earth: >> AKA Bible)
Tell her it's nothing bad and you know the teachings of Jesus and it doesnt go against it, you're just trying to find your spiritual place in the world and you're just going through a lot.
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DarkCove
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Post by DarkCove on Dec 16, 2015 18:11:10 GMT
My mother is a Christian (not a particularly good one  ), and honestly, sometimes it's better to just leave topics like this. Me and my mother no longer talk but she does occasionally send pro Christian things to me in the hope I'll change. If someone is stuck in their ways I've found it's best to just accept it and move on. Explaining it probably won't help, it never helped in the situations when I've tried it. If you're close to moving out it'll be fine, but if you have a few more years perhaps you might want to try a different approach so you two can get along whilst you're still living together. Good luck  |
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Post by Wolfreak in Sudbury on Feb 5, 2016 3:11:48 GMT
I've put myself in situations where I might be faced with an argument from a Christian about such things, but it's never come to using my prepared defense. If I were in a situation where someone tried to use some sort of Christian based grounds to debunk the possibility that I'm a wolf soul trapped in a human body, I'd tell them that if they'd like to debate spiritual matters with someone I'll give them the forum of Christian Therianthropy. There they can direct their questions to people who live with being both.
For many of us the core causes of our therianthropy has nothing to do with belief. We just base our conclusions on whatever those core causes are for us. You could tell your mom that even if you changed your conclusions, you'd still be living with the core causes of your therianthropy, but you'd be a lot less happy. You're not claiming to have the answers. You are just living with the conclusion that brings you the best comfort and understanding.
For the record I just think I have weird brain wiring, which then makes it a completely pointless exercise to try and argue with me. If I tell someone I have this feeling I'm a wolf trapped in a human body, they can't tell me I'm not actually feeling anything. It would be like them telling me that they are feeling happy and me telling them that of course they aren't feeling that way. Despite no longer seeing my therianthropy in a spiritual light, I still identify as being a wolf and still cringe if someone inadvertently refers to me being human. It's what feels right and makes me a happier healthier person. I'd change to being a wolf in a heartbeat if I could, even though it would likely mean that I'd be a human who feels like he's a wolf, in a wolf's body.
Oh, and another thing. The entire bible constantly mentions that you have to have faith to go to heaven. If your mom is saying there is scientific evidence of God and Jesus doing blah, blah, blah and that's how you know they are real, then she's basing her belief in God on what she perceives as fact, and not on faith. Therefore, no heaven for her. The day that a person has 100% proof of the existence of God is the day that they become faithless. The bible doesn't promote a belief in God based on logic and empirical evidence, in fact, it does just the opposite. Never understood Christians who go searching for proof that there is a God since they are just dooming themselves to hell if they find it.
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bree
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Post by bree on Aug 31, 2016 16:50:44 GMT
Explain to her that it's just like another religion or belief, like reincarnation for example. Tell her if she can accept other religions and beliefs she should accept you for who you are and if she can't is she really a good mother?
Anyway, if I were you I would speak to your therapist WITHOUT your mother about this and if she doesn't really need to know, why bring it up?
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G.D.
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Post by G.D. on Aug 31, 2016 17:04:08 GMT
Explain to her that it's just like another religion or belief, like reincarnation for example. Tell her if she can accept other religions and beliefs she should accept you for who you are and if she can't is she really a good mother? Anyway, if I were you I would speak to your therapist WITHOUT your mother about this and if she doesn't really need to know, why bring it up? Save for it's not a religion or belief, and that would be misinformation. The identification requires no faith, have no system or set of beliefs, and would likely lead to more troubles down the road if explained that way. Reincarnation is sometimes a part of an individual's personal belief system in relation to their identity, but is separate from what that identity is and why. It would be an attempt to explain it, but not a concrete answer and still has not much to do with religion or faith. |
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bree
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Post by bree on Aug 31, 2016 18:41:55 GMT
@geist but therianthropy WOULD be a spiritual belief. with have little to no scientific evidence to back up our claims of identifying as animals. we have to have faith in our experiences and the experiences of others to justify the way we feel. yes, reincarnation can be an integral part of someone's therian identity but it was just an example.
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G.D.
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Post by G.D. on Aug 31, 2016 18:50:06 GMT
@geist but therianthropy WOULD be a spiritual belief. with have little to no scientific evidence to back up our claims of identifying as animals. we have to have faith in our experiences and the experiences of others to justify the way we feel. yes, reincarnation can be an integral part of someone's therian identity but it was just an example. That depends entirely on the individual and how they identify. Some people have no spiritual foundation for their identity whatsoever. A large portion of the community, across all platforms, believes it to be a purely psychological phenomena. Due to a variety of causes such as being wired a certain way, trauma, and some even make correlations between the identity and things like mental disorders. Among other things. Does that automatically make a spiritual identification invalid? No. But neither does the spiritual identification for the psychological one. It would depend on how and why OP identifies, but even for people who have a spiritual foundation it doesn't necessarily require any form of faith. Generally if faith or hard coded beliefs are involved, it's due to their past experiences with a separate belief system that the individual believes ties into their identification. That experience would be subjective. As an individual who identities on both spiritual and psychological grounds, it requires absolutely no faith on my part to experience the non-physical spiritual aspects of my being. |
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), and honestly, sometimes it's better to just leave topics like this. Me and my mother no longer talk but she does occasionally send pro Christian things to me in the hope I'll change. If someone is stuck in their ways I've found it's best to just accept it and move on. Explaining it probably won't help, it never helped in the situations when I've tried it. 
