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Post by ragtailedfox on Jul 28, 2015 19:54:20 GMT
So I've turned this around and around and I can't think of how to talk about this without feeling like a tit. So anything worth doing is worth overdoing, right: D
Humans! They're really weird, right? See, I was in my manager's office receiving a talk about I'm not really acting like, 'part of the team' and she wanted to know why. I mumbled something I can't even remember now and concentrated on not crying. My thoughts move a lot like oil tankers so it was a couple of hours later that something struck me. I didn't feel part of the team. And I didn't feel like part of the team because they all felt like weird meat sacks to me. You know, not people. Not my people. You know what I mean?
It's a feeling that's been building for a while. Ever since I started trying to actively engage with my animal self. I used to get the feeling an awful lot when I was younger, before I locked my animal self firmly in a box. But I've been through years of therapy and talked it all out and cried a lot in small rooms with almost strangers, and I thought it'd gone away. Result of depression, socially isolated childhood, unhelpful coping strategies, blah blah blah. In fact, I was feeling so good about my brain that I felt able to let the fox out the box. And now, those feelings are back.
So, does anyone have any advice or tips on how to get by in human society without locking away the animal? How to be the animal/human you are and still live a comparatively normal life (you know, job, pay bills, talk to people)? Is social dysphoria a thing? Let's make it a thing if it isn't. Anyone have any advice or tips on living through social dysphoria?
Many thanks in advance, folks.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jul 28, 2015 20:49:15 GMT
I think I get what you're on about. I don't really understand/like humans either, mainly how they destroy everything they create or need. I guess the main advice I can give is accept it, and save the fox for when you're alone or around friends or people who know about it. I sometimes find that if I don't get away from humanity in general every once in a while (i.e just taking a walk in the woods), I get a bit depressed and dysphoric. As for this social dysphoria thing you created, I don't really know what to tell you.
But hey, don't follow my advice if you don't want to. Everyone's different.
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Seraphyna
- Therian - Standard Animal
Standard Animal Lion and Reef Shark
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Post by Seraphyna on Jul 29, 2015 1:07:10 GMT
Well....we're all humans...and like any other animal, we have our good points and our not so good points. The trick is just being you to the extent you can in public and however you want (so long as it's safe) in private.
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Post by ragtailedfox on Jul 29, 2015 6:08:04 GMT
Hm, it's not so much that I don't like humans or hate my human side. It's just... I love my pet moggy. He's slightly weird and totally awesome. But I'd struggle to work with him because we have no natural empathy. He does things and they mean different things to him than they mean to me. I mean, I'm sure from his point of view licking my face at four in the morning when I'm trying to sleep is a sign of love and trust, but to me it's waking me up and annoying me. Why the hell does he have such a thing for licking my eyeballs, anyway? I thought for a while that my inability to empathize with others and recognize them as part of the same social organism as me was a symptom of an ASD. But I went to the psychiatrist and then had a very awkward conversation with my parents and back to the psychiatrist and she said, "I can see why you thought that, but... no". It's almost like I'm watching people on TV. People acting, playing characters, and me a passive audience member. As it's not a symptom of an ASD or my broken coping strategies, I thought I might not feel like one of them because I'm not one of them.
I will keep thinking about it. I'm sure it'll help when I can articulate it better. But thank you for the advice. I shall bare it in mind.
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Post by Deleted on Jul 29, 2015 8:45:32 GMT
Welcome to the forum ^_^ -Cherry Welcome! I hope you enjoy it here -Fibreya
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Post by Deleted on Jul 29, 2015 19:50:07 GMT
It's almost like I'm watching people on TV. People acting, playing characters, and me a passive audience member. This part is potentially important. I'm not a doctor, and we are not allowed to give medical and/or psychiatric advice, so I will simply ask you this: Did you explain this, in these words, to your psychiatrist? Putting the species dysphoria piece aside, this can be a symptom of something. I'd recommend pursuing it, if you already haven't. It isn't anything to worry about, but treatment always works best when it is focused on the necessary areas, so make sure that your doctor is aware of everything.
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Post by ragtailedfox on Aug 2, 2015 17:38:11 GMT
It's almost like I'm watching people on TV. People acting, playing characters, and me a passive audience member. This part is potentially important. I'm not a doctor, and we are not allowed to give medical and/or psychiatric advice, so I will simply ask you this: Did you explain this, in these words, to your psychiatrist? Putting the species dysphoria piece aside, this can be a symptom of something. I'd recommend pursuing it, if you already haven't. It isn't anything to worry about, but treatment always works best when it is focused on the necessary areas, so make sure that your doctor is aware of everything. You're right, it can be an important indicator for any number of medically-defined conditions. I've mentioned it to some of the people I've seen and they didn't seem that bothered by it. I mean, they taught me some coping mechanisms for it and suggested it was a result of low self-esteem or poor socialisation as a child. I'm falling out of love with the way our health system treats mental illness. It is very focused on medication, on giving you pills to make 'problems' go away, and when there aren't any pills on teaching techniques for ignoring them. I'm at a point now where I'd rather not see them as problems. Psychological abnormalities are the non-conscious mind's way of telling the conscious mind that something isn't right somewhere. Ignoring them--by medication or CBT or plain old stubbornness--is like ignoring the pain from an infected wound. I want to learn to listen to myself. This feels like the part of me that is fox trying to jam its round paw into a square hole. Maybe the reason I'm still feeling it after all these years is because nothing I've done has actually addressed the problem. How does someone who's only partly human, someone who's natural place is at the edge of the campfire, neither in the light nor the darkness, function in a place where the social rules are incredibly strict and unyielding? I do appreciate the concern, and I'm not dismissing it. It's an answer I've explored in the past and found wanting, so now I'm trying something else. Chances are that I'll come back to it, in one way or another
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