How to tell my parents that I'm Therian

[FreedomFlier007]

I don't really know how to break the news to my parents. My mom would be okay with it but my dad wouldn't be super accepting and understanding of it. I do t really know how to tell them, in slight fear that they'lol judge me and ask me a gazillion questions that I might not know the answer to. If any of you wonderful people on here have any advice on how to tell them and try and not have them judge me a lot, that would be great.

Thanks

-FreedomFlier007

[House of Chimeras]

Here are a few tips we tend to give to any person thinking about coming out as being someone who doesn‘t identify as human:

1. Honestly ask yourself why you feel the need to come out at all? What do you wish to gain? What will it accomplish? The answer and if it is suitable enough to rationalize a reason to come out at all will depend on you, but if you don‘t really have an answer as to why, that might be something to think about first. (Also, consider how long you have identified as a therian by label. There are a number of people who identified as a therianthrope for years only to realize the term didn’t actually fit their experiences. For example, Lupa GreenWolf identified as wolf therianthrope at least 7 years before coming to the conclusion she wasn’t one at all. So seriously consider the possibility of what you would have to do *if* you were mistaken.)

2. If you decide to come out, here is a tip, don’t act like you are telling someone who have a terminal illness. Your tone of voice and body language can and will effect how the information you are telling a person can be received. If you act like what you are telling them is shameful, serious, a deadly disease, or such they are more likely to react an a negative level themselves just from that tone alone.

3. Now to get into the actual content of what to say if you decide to come out. Avoid using community terminology as much as possible. The reason for this is that if your coming out to someone, you are trying to explain to that someone what the topic is and how they should accept it as being a part of your life right? Well, that is going to be difficult if you’re having to stop every 5 seconds to define something. And if you don‘t do that you’re leaving them sitting there having no clue what you said it because they don‘t know what those words mean. So rather than saying ‘theriotype’ or ‘kintype,’ just say something like ‘animal/creature I identify as’ or whatnot. Yes, we know its wordy and all, but, trust us, being a bit wordy to be a bit more to be sure you are being understood is better then saying less and being more likely to lose your listener on your words alone rather then your content.

3.5. Also, over cramping a person’s head with foreign or not often used words can lead to them feeling overwhelmed or stupid leading them to possibly tune-out or react more negativity to what is being said.

4. Finally as far as if you decide to come out and what advise we think is important - use positive words, avoid negative words. Certain words have certain connotations to them in people‘s minds. Sometimes this connation is negative. When people hear a word that they have predisposed ideas connected to, using that word might drag those ideas into the conversation. For example, when most people think of werewolves the images that form in people’s heads are “bloodthirsty, monstrous, horror, and fictional.” This might not be what you want to bring into the conversation.

4.5 Also beware that adding “not” into a sentence can still bring a negative into the conversation, plus you can run the risk of still connecting therianthropy to topic you don’t want them to connect it do. So be aware what you saying, and make sure it is what you are aiming at.

However, of the advise we tend to give people thinking about coming out the best one we want to stress is our first point. Really consider why you want to come out at all, decide if that is something you really feel you need/want to do, and so on.

- Cavern-Risen

[Deleted]

I was going to mention House of Chimeras's first point, but I wanted to make sure that I wouldn't be the only one to suggest it. I don't think that being therian/otherkin is something that affects one's life in a way public enough way to even make it necessary to come out. I'm sure there may be exceptions to this, but: Let's say that you marry another person like yourself. Is anyone to going to know, given that it is a very personal and internal matter? This can be a big deal for one's sexual orientation and/or gender identity, as there may very well come a time when it can no longer be hidden. Therianthropy isn't like that.

With that said, if you still feel that it is very important to you, I also propose some extra questions:

1) How open-minded is your family? Are they very religious? If they are conservative and traditionally minded people, you may want to think twice, as the track record tends to not be very good with that worldview.

2) Why now? Is there something going on in your life, at this present time, that makes you believe that this is necessary? This isn't something you want to rush, like Chimeras said. You can consider your words and actions all you want, but you can't ever truly take them back. This leads me into:

3) Do you still live with your folks? If you do not, or plan to move out, do you ever think there is even the tiniest possibility that you may have to move back in? If you answer "yes" to either of these, you may want to, at the very least, hold off. Some folks, whether they be LGBTQ+, converting to a new religion, or of a misunderstood demographic of some other sort may think that moving out for college, or in with friends, or into their first apartment will be a perfect, sublime experience, in which no problems will be had. They may then decide to go out on the fanfare of, "Guess what, I'm x!" Sadly, things do not always work out for us the way we expect them to. Loss of scholarships/aid, arguments with friends, loss of employment, and disability are only some examples of what can happen to us, with little to no warning, and completely out of nowhere. Make sure that you are settled into your independent life before disclosing something that may have negative repercussions for you down the road.

[Seraphyna]

I second Cavern-Risen. There can be repercussions for telling your parents of your identity, especially when you're still living at home. Seriously consider why you want to tell them and weigh the pros and cons of doing so.

If you decide to go through with telling them, I always recommend to explain the concept first in such a way where it isn't obvious that it's personal. If they're not accepting of the concept, you can bail on the conversation. If they are, you can proceed with explaining your identity and beliefs.

[FreedomFlier007]

Thank you for all of your advice! I never really thought about why I had to tell them, which I'll be thinking about now. I'll be thinking over all of you're well made points and weighing the benefits of telling them and the benefits of not telling them. Thank you a lot!

-FreedomFlier007

[Deleted]

May 20, 2015 3:14:55 GMT FreedomFlier007 said:

Thank you for all of your advice! I never really thought about why I had to tell them, which I'll be thinking about now. I'll be thinking over all of you're well made points and weighing the benefits of telling them and the benefits of not telling them. Thank you a lot!

-FreedomFlier007

You're welcome! I'm really happy if we were able to help. ^.^

[FreedomFlier007]

May 20, 2015 3:44:27 GMT @shoegaze said:

May 20, 2015 3:14:55 GMT FreedomFlier007 said:

Thank you for all of your advice! I never really thought about why I had to tell them, which I'll be thinking about now. I'll be thinking over all of you're well made points and weighing the benefits of telling them and the benefits of not telling them. Thank you a lot!

-FreedomFlier007

You're welcome! I'm really happy if we were able to help. ^.^

You helped loads, thanks!

[House of Chimeras]

May 20, 2015 3:14:55 GMT FreedomFlier007 said:

Thank you for all of your advice! I never really thought about why I had to tell them, which I'll be thinking about now. I'll be thinking over all of you're well made points and weighing the benefits of telling them and the benefits of not telling them. Thank you a lot!

-FreedomFlier007

That sounds like a good first step. Think about why you want to come out and what you wish to gain from doing so. Plus consider if the possible negative reactions are ones you are willing to take for those possible benefits you see in coming out. Your answer to those questions, and if they good enough answers to move forward in coming out depends on you of course. Best of luck.

- Cavern-Risen (female, werewolf)

[Deleted]

I'm sorry, but I don't understand. Why do you want to tell your parents about this? I saved myself from their weird way of looking at me and kept it a secret from everybody including my friends here for what, 5 years lol. Still rolling. Anyway, it's your decision in the end really, but in my opinion it mostly causes more questions and harm than ease your life.

[FreedomFlier007]

I've realized that it's better if I keep it to myself. I compared the pros and cons, and the cons weighed a lot more heavily. I'll not end up telling anyone, at least not for a while. On a brighter note I think I mental shifted this afternoon while no one else was home. I just made crow and pigeon noises for a half an hour, lol. It was nice to release all of my pent up animalistic tendencies after a rough week. Thank you all for your help, I've greatly appreciated it!