My species dyphorya dilema.

[Jessie]

I have species dysphorya, which Over the past few years iv noticed that its getting harder to satisfy the need to be more like my kin. I first started to try to be more like my kin physically when I was 16. I had a tail made for me and I wore it every time I was alown. At the time I was satisfied that it would satisfy my species dysphorya. Then a year later. I started to feel the need again to be more like my kin so I went and brought a dog collar which I still have and wear now. thinking that would satisfy the need. And thus it did. until I was 19. and now iv had to point my nails so they resemble claws to me. Which in return has made my hands resemble the shape of paws to me for some reson. Anyway I have since had that need again and everything I have done to make my self resemble my kin. I have a necklace with a collie on it which I always were. I know have to were my tail and collar every night and cant imagine not. To help with my kin and such I work in the farming sector with sheep and cattle for my herding needs and all, anyway yeah I have put up with that need for a while now and well its now getting to the point were I cant ignore the need to change into my kin. And I don't know what to do about it. It is starting to make me depressed aswell. I don't have much time to my self to let my kin out so to speak and I have really no one to talk too about it, like face to face.

Any advice would be gratly appreachated.
Jessie

[Seraphyna]

The best advice I have is to come to terms with your humanity. Not easy, I know, but physically becoming one's kintype is impossible, so you've got to make do with what you have. Finding ways to be more like your theriotype is one thing that can help, but it can also cause more of a rift between your current species and the one you feel you should be. I recommend finding activities to connect to your human body as well as to appease the border collie in you.

[Kasumi Noxumbra]

Hey Jessie, I kind of know the feeling and I agree totally with what Seraphyna said. Had I been hear earlier I probably would have said the same thing only worded differently since I can't explain things too well. n_n;; Anyways, I don't think there has ever been a day where I haven't had to appease both sides of me. Humanity and kin alike. One of the things to remember is to not completely shut off your human side, for it is a part of you and you of it. In cutting that side off, it tends to create as Seraphyna said, a rift. That rift can create all sorts of problems from depression to outbursts of anger/rage. I have been through that myself a few times over, until I came to terms with my human side and accepted it as a part of me. I still don't like the way humanity lives today, but I try to not let it get to me.

Just try to find something that will please your human side as well as your kin side, and I think you'll get better. If you ever need to talk, we're here for you. n_n Also if I can think of anything that may really help, I'll be sure to post it for you.

[Jessie]

Well I want to thank you both for the advice but its not really my human side giving me the problem you see. I kinda understand my human side as which is why im anthro. I cant imagine not being able to do the stuff I can. I seem to have done as much as I can for my kin side and human side without letting my kin become found by others. But like I said its not really enough to keep my kin happy. even tho my human side is. I suppose its something I will have to take and live with?

I thank you tho both of you for your advice! It was helpful.

[Kasumi Noxumbra]

Dec 13, 2013 18:19:19 GMT Jessie said:

Well I want to thank you both for the advice but its not really my human side giving me the problem you see. I kinda understand my human side as which is why im anthro. I cant imagine not being able to do the stuff I can. I seem to have done as much as I can for my kin side and human side without letting my kin become found by others. But like I said its not really enough to keep my kin happy. even tho my human side is. I suppose its something I will have to take and live with?

I thank you tho both of you for your advice! It was helpful.

Ah right, I forgot that you told me you were anthro before. Sorry about that. I've had a lot on my plate the last few weeks that everything kind of got mixed up in my head. Anyways, I do know the feeling. I kind of think it probably doesn't help with the situation that you can't let your kin side out because of it possibly being discovered by others, and I have the same issue. I don't really know any Therian/Otherkin that doesn't have that issue at some point in their life for the fears of various reasons. I just think some can handle it better than others. I'm definitely not one of those ones who can handle hiding myself from the world. Hmmm....well here is an idea. Can you take any vacation time from work? If so maybe take a trip somewhere where there aren't that many people and let your kin self out more for a little while. That helped me out when I needed some time away from human civilization. n_n

You are very welcome for the advice. Its like I said, that's what we are here for. And if you need to talk to us privately, there is always the PM. I'll catch you later, got a puppy to take outside. n_n;;

[Deleted]

I get what you're saying, frequently experiencing such dysphoria myself. I trim my nails in a claw-like shape (I cut them into points, then trim the points off to avoid injuries and unwanted attention). Having a collar on helps me relax (at home), and I'm looking into making myself a tail (again, for use at home.) I keep a small cat-collar bell on my keychain, which jingles faintly as I walk. I also dislike seeing myself in mirrors, as it's disconcerting.

I find that balance is key, satisfying both my cougar and my human sides. Whenever I feel depressed at not being able to be closer to my cougar side, I often visit the zoo and observe the lions, tigers, and snow leopards (they don't have cougars). (I know the ethical nature of zoos can be debatable, but since I can't afford to fly overseas and see them in the wild.) That helps me a bit.

[Jessie]

Thanks for your replys to this. It dose help i think to know im not alone with this. It sort of worried me thinking i was alone with it.
You should message me Kieran. Maby we can talk about or experances or tips on this? or just genrally talking i find helps

[Kasumi Noxumbra]

Jessie

You are most welcome. I'm glad talking about it seems to help. As far as advice/tips on the matter, I'll have to think more of what has helped me so far and post it here. At the moment I'm a little short on time since I got to take a puppy outside and then go pick up Haru from work.

[Deleted]

I have been going though the same thing lately... I can't satisfy the beast inside either