I don't know who or what I am

[Deleted]

I've always been "gifted", even when I was a small child.
I befriended animals more often than I did other children.
I saw, spoke with, and played with spirits that roamed this realm/plane.

As I grew, I learned to keep this to myself more and more. It frightened my class mates, and I became estranged.

My parents dismissed my abilities as the result of an over-active imagination. And I soon accepted this as my fate.

But when I hit the age of 15, the dreams came.
For weeks, I would dream the same dream, over and over, re-living the terror every night.

I would get a slight reprieve, where I wouldn't dream at all.

But then the dreams would come back, much different, and much worse. I eventually got to the point to where I was afraid of sleeping, and soon became an adrenaline junkie, looking for ways to keep myself awake and semi-sane.

Then, someone contacted me, his name was Art.
He knew what was happening at night, and at first, it scared me that he knew this, but then he explained to me that he was experienced in this, as he put it, "Form of Living".

He helped me to control the dreams, to keep them at bay.

But after a year, he stopped contacting me, stopped helping me, and every avenue I had for contacting him was gone. His number was disconnected, his email account deleted.

I felt abandoned.
And with that abandonment, my dreams came back, tenfold.

Now, I'm looking for help, for answers.

If you can help me, please please please contact me.

[Deleted]

Welcome,
While you mentioned you were gifted with animals, you didn't mention what the dreams were about or hardly any needed details besides that they were obviously not enjoyable dreams. I feel like we might be able to help you out more if you told us a little more about the dreams. It's very vauge, and I don't really know how to advise you unless you give us a little more detail.
What did "Art" tell you to do? What was his advice? I realize recalling these dreams may be tough or hard to explain, but I fear that you won't be able to get help here otherwise.
Thank you for sharing, and hope to hear from you soon,

~Opal

[Deleted]

I agree with Opal, could you please give us more detail? We can't help you if we don't know what's happening.

[Deleted]

My abilities are rather interesting. I'm able pick up on the emotions of those surrounding me without observing them.
I can read animals, almost as if they speak to me - it's never in words, but more-so in emotions.
Everything that is out of the ordinary with me is emotions-based.
I do not claim to be psychic or anything of that nature.
I just claim to be sensitive to others

But to answer your questions:

The dreams are always the same, essentially.

They usually start the same - I'm being followed.
Once my feet hit the ground, I'm running.
Being hunted in your dreams is more terrifying than anything I've ever faced, and I'm not faint of heart.

It's almost as if the hunters are toying with me, because in the end, I'm always caught. I'm always taunted, tortured, and eventually, they go in for the kill. But the moment they strike me for the final time, I jolt awake, shaking, sweating, and I feel as if I've had an adrenaline shot straight to the heart.

Sometimes though, the dreams are different.
Where I'm the hunter, and they are the hunted.
I catch them easily, and I rip into them one by one, as if they are nothing more than a stuffed animal in a child's playroom.
All I can think of is that I'm angry and scared all at once.
I just want them to go away, and that if they don't, well... I might as well not have been the hunter but the hunted yet again.

I never see their faces. But I can smell them, which is odd for dreams. And even more odd, is I can feel everything as if it is real.
I cannot control the dreams and bend them to my will like you're supposed to be able to do with most dreams. I cannot will myself awake until the dreams are finished with me. And I always wake up the same - jolted, cold-sweats, adrenaline flooding my system, and I swear, if fear had a scent to the human nose, I would have been gagging on it myself.

Art always told me that before I would go to sleep that I should always tell myself that my spirit was not allowed to venture at night. That she was to stay put and stay rested. He said to keep calm and say with 100% surety that I would not let her go. He told me that if I made sure I was spiritually anchored at night, that nothing bad would happen and that he would help me keep her tethered inside.

He was always vague about everything, and I told him I was fed up with his inability to tell me more - he always said he would "handle" it.

And for a while, he did. I got to rest, and he pulled the dreams away from me. even though the dreams were gone for the time being, I was always tired. I figure it was because of my backwards schedule that I was trying to right.

But he stopped one night, out of nowhere, and I was hit by a dream. I was unable to contact him the next day. I couldn't reach out for the support I was becoming dependent upon. He never warned me or explained to me why, and he never contacted me. I felt absolutely lost at that moment. Abandonment isn't something I handle well.


The dreams came back even worse.
More graphic, more vile. And even more violent.
And the worst part is that I can feel every moment of it.

I want to let whoever reads this know that I hadn't meant to be vague because it was horrible to remember, which it is. I was vague because its nothing short of horrifying to learn of.

I would prefer to go over the specifics in the privacy of a P.M. or email. Its not something I wish to share with the community.

[Deleted]

@lydia
Thank you for having the courage to share that with the community.
I'd like to see the other's input to this too, but it's possible these dreams might be powerful memories from a past life. I have no idea what your spirituality or religion is, but it's possible that you are still intune with memories from a past life before you were reincarnated into this one. This is a common form of Therianthropy, so talking to someone who has distinct memories from a past life, especially ones that might be painful like yours, could be very beneficial to your well being. Do some soul searching when you have the time. "Do the people around you in the dream seem to look at you in a different way than they would look at a human? What kind of things are they doing to you that have been done to animals that you know of? What was their intent? Don't jump to any immediate conclusions though, as that can do more damage than good. Spend a lot of time, or as much as you can bear, pondering this. I hope I could help!

~Opal

[Deleted]

By no means am I someone you would consider religious. Spiritual, yes, but not religious. Since I can remember, I've been steeped in Native American culture, due to my grandmother's heritage. She believed in Totems and Spirit Guides.

These dreams are horrific, as one could imagine.
But I cannot see their faces. For some reason, I can't look up at them to see their faces. I've tried, but I'm always forced to look down or away.
Sometimes I'm human, sometimes I'm not when I have these dreams.
When I'm human, the hunters aren't chasing an animal. They are chasing a conquest.
When I'm animal, the hunters are chasing their prey.

But whether I am human or animal, they capture me and bind me, so that I cannot move. They beat, kick, and cut away at me. They bleed me and they skin me. They taunt me and verbally assault me. Then, if I'm an animal, they will kill me once I'm too weak to protest the abuse. If I'm human... well, they get even more violent when I'm human.

I do not know what their intentions were, other than harm.
In the dream, I could smell them.
They smelled foul, almost like sweat, oil, rotting meat, and alcohol.
I don't know how to really explain the odors coming from the hunters.

[Deleted]

I think Opal hit the target when she said that these dreams that you have could be memories of right before you passed away in a previous life-if you believe in reincarnation.

My question is that this man named Art helped you, but does he know well of what he is talking about? Is he a friend, professional, trained or self-taught? Because I find it strange that all of a sudden, he got rid of all of his contact information in just one day. If he knew that you could handle the dreams by yourself, then he would have left you a notice. Is there any way you can recreate the lessons he taught you? If you were taught for him by a year, I would assume that you would have a pretty good grip as to what was going on. Dreams are something that are more controllable internally then externally, of course.

I myself have had a similar-like dream as the one you have (the whole hunterXprey ordeal). And to be honest, it's rather scary, but if it's reoccuring frequently, also ask yourself if you are experiencing any ongoing stress in the outside world (school, work, family, etc.)

[TwoFox]

I also agree with Opal, the dreams may be memories from past lives, although its strange that there are so many memories of your death. They could be the result of a feeling that there's something about you that's different and other people reject you because of it, but having nearly identical dreams over and over again is... Hm... Interesting. If they are memories from a past life then it would mean you lived multiple lives, dying multiple times at the hands of the same group of people... Maybe you were a non-physical being in a past life, a spirit essentially that would move from one body to another after the body you used to inhabit died? Just a theory. Anyway, I understand what it feels like to be hunted. In my past life I was a fox, and I died in a fox hunt. Long story short, being killed by dogs is not exactly the most pleasant experience.

[Deleted]

@ Noel - Art didn't talk much about himself on a personal level. He did tell me that he was part of a "coven" but in all honesty, I now roll my eyes at him and his abilities. Who would leave an innocent unprotected? I never asked for the horrible dreams. In fact, I used to go days on end without sleep, in hopes that I might be too tired to even dream - sometimes it worked and sometimes it didn't.
But he spoke as if he was well educated on what was going on, as if he dealt with it often. He was someone who dabbled in the occult, which I don't have much of a problem with. If he truly realized that I was in the situation that I was in, he wouldn't have left me with no way of contacting him or someone who could help me. I feel duped, but at the same time, he really did help me when he was still "around". I've tried to recreate the situation, as if he was still helping me, but it didn't work.
I do believe in reincarnation, again, I have a large amount of Native American blood running through my veins - Apache and Cherokee. Yes, I know how odd that is, seeing as how they were more or less mortal enemies. (for more details, ask me, because it's all due to my Grandmother on why I have certain beliefs)
But anyways, all-in-all, I'm mainly confused.

TwoFox - I don't know why I dream practically the same dream over and over. They always have slight variations from the previous one, but all in all, they all end the same. Feeling your gut and chest cavity cut open while you're tied down hurts just as bad in a dream as I would assume it does in your physical form.

And I don't think I was a body-jumper/hopper.
The thought of that sends shivers down my spine.