Feeling disappointed/disconnected

[mateustheferal]

Lately I've been starting to notice that I really can't stand some parts of the therian/otherkin community. I just can't bring myself to care about alot of peoples' problems. It seems all they do is whine about being offended or treated badly for being different.

All I can say about that is too d@mned bad. Get a thicker skin, grow up, get over it. Half the world has worse problems than everyone not agreeing with you about your religious views or some other random crap. I. don't. care.

Sometimes I find it hard to connect with my inner animal after stuff like this. So I've also been thinking of just leaving the community all together, but I don't really know, because the community is one of the only places I feel I can be myself(most of the time) and I still like quite a few people and the conversations that are had.

Any thoughts?
-Mateus

[Doppel]

Could I suggest taking time out from the community to find your inner self again? While I do sometimes cringe at some kin/therians who complain a lot, I sometimes see that they need some time to stabilize and become level-headed members of the community.
You don't have to leave the community entirely, you just have to avoid the parts of the community that irks you.

[mateustheferal]

Good points you make Doppel. I think I'll just spend more time lurking around here and stay off of a couple other forums/groups for now. Like taking a break
-Mateus

[House of Chimeras]

I think that happens to a lot of people in the community. They stick around for a while but over time they become disillusioned by the community for one reason or another and either only lurk (sometimes incase they can meet more kin their area or attend local Howls) or they find their bit of the community somewhere and call themselves good. Plus some people just go through their points where either something has really annoyed them enough or they any other reason to want to get away from it for a while.

Some of us have experienced it. I think the only reason I haven’t fully had one over the years is because of my reasonability as part of the Help Staff on Werelist. Its volunteer work, but I still feel obligated to continue keeping track there even if its only to lurk and keep any eye on things until I get back into a swing.

Don’t feel bad if it happens whether it be to a specific piece of the community or over all. Its not a bad thing to take a leave for a while or indefinitely.

- Earth Listener

[Deleted]

I'm not sure taking a break will change your long term opinion on the community though. What you said is true, about people whining about this and that subject, but isn't the whole world like that? Leaving the therian/otherkin forums will just mean you lost those few places you can go to and be yourself (hopefully without getting judged).

I had many moments where I read something, not even read all the way through even, and just stop because I found it really pointless and uninteresting, maybe it's because I'm getting older, I don't get amazed by what a lot of people have to talk about. I think you just have to not read, and give a damn about the subjects that don't interest you. As I said, people will cry and act childish everywhere. Try hopping on the WoT forum I'm on, the negativity, tears, rage, anger and hormones are constantly mashed together. I sort of like it that way, I've grown to enjoy fanning the flames and causing chaos with a few words, keeps me smiling. Also, that's how I deal with stupidity.

[Deleted]

Jan 13, 2012 19:40:16 GMT @mateustheferal said:

All I can say about that is too d@mned bad. Get a thicker skin, grow up, get over it. Half the world has worse problems than everyone not agreeing with you about your religious views or some other random crap. I. don't. care.
-Mateus

Disclaimer - I'm not sure what your age is or the people that are complaining, so I may be way off base, but here's my two cents.

I for the most part agree with your statement above; largely because I'm part of the group who has a lot bigger problems to deal with and I've learned it doesn't do a damn bit of good to complain about my problems because no one cares. And I think a lot of this is just people needing to grow up. A large portion of the younger crowd wants so badly to be accepted or have people understand their beliefs, and it won't happen. If people have common ground on a subject they can, but trying to get others to accept you...won't happen, get used to the idea. As these people grow up they'll come to see this, or they'll lead an extremely hard life trying to get others to accept them.

However I don't think this is worth leaving the community over, as any online community that you are a part of, that has teenage members, this will happen. (And I don't mean any offence to the teenagers of this forum..I was there, I did it too, you learn as you get older there are so many other things wrong with the world..its not worth whining about all of them.) Personally, no matter how many whiners a forum might have, I still find comfort talking with like-minded people, even if I'm just lurking about. So my advise would be just try to ignore the stupid posters and do an activity that triggers your kin side. Sometimes that might require a step back from technology but doesn't mean you have to leave all together. Personally, even after all the fluffy kids these forums can get, nothing helps me feel happier than talking to other like minded animal people, whether on a forum or howl.

So do what you have to do to feel your kin side again, but keep in mind, no matter where you go, forum or real life, you'll have to deal with whiners and immature people.. I find it best to ignore them, tell them to grow up, or laugh at the stupidity of it all.

However, depending on the situation, sometimes just sharing your experiences can help people not have the same difficulties you did, after all, we all have to grow up and learn that the masses don't care somehow.

Forest Wolfie

~Our power can be replicated, but not our beginnings~

[mateustheferal]

@kharu That actually sounds like fun, to tell the truth. I don't mind fanning the flames and like to play devil's advocate just to see what will happen. Now I feel like joining some really fluffy forums just to stir up a bit of trouble >_>

forest Wolfie I'm actually only 18, so I only consider myself at the doorstep of adulthood. But I think quite a few of the people who annoy me are actually older. Not that it matters much, and you're also right about how the younger age group acts alot of the time. I've also been through alot of bad crap, and know people who have Murphy's Law stamped on their forheads and have seen alot of people suffer that makes most things look trivial. So I'll try to ignore some of those people who really annoy me.

@chimer, Kharu, Forest Wolfie Thanks guys. I think I'll stick around, but avoid the people who irk me. Or at least try hard to ignore them. Most of the time. I think it's safe to say this is my favorite forum out of all the ones I've joined(therian and non)
-Mateus

[Deleted]

@ Mateus

Couldn't agree more honestly, but I think some forums do better than others, however, the community as a whole, I cannot stand.

[Doppel]

Jan 14, 2012 3:17:02 GMT @enjuyanazaki said:

@ Mateus

Couldn't agree more honestly, but I think some forums do better than others, however, the community as a whole, I cannot stand.

Hey, the same thing can be said about real life.

Some communities and cities do better than others. However, if I see something I object to, I cannot stand it.

So, the best way to deal with this is to stay with the communities you like.

[Deleted]

I hate a lot of online therian communities myself. Not just for the whining, but due to the people, mostly teenagers, embarrassing themselves and therians everywhere with the things they do and talk about. So many forums just seem so fake, like teenagers wanting to pretend their role-play is real.

Not to say there aren't any mature teens out there, and some therian communities are better than others, but some of them just make me want to thump some people with a clue-by-four.

[Railaybara]

I guess the way I see it is these people have no idea what they're doing so they try to ask a lot of questions to get help, even though it may get overwhelming by the amount and no words to say.
I can't say I openly care about everyone that has ever needed help but we're too busy to be spending a lot of time on here anyways. I honestly like this forum and always have ever since I first heard about it from Rail here.
It's up to you, but if you can be yourself here and find out what you need I don't see a reason to go.
-Barbatos

[Alteras System]

@mateus
I think I have to agree with what's already been said here.

The community in a whole is dissapointing, however certain parts or subcommunities if you will can be good.

I've been there too leaving the community all together, but if you keep feeling that, maybe it's better to take a small break instead of just leaving it all behind.

Afterall you stated that the community is one of the few places you can be yourself. You don't want to take that away from yourself:)