Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 28, 2010 6:28:01 GMT
More than a year ago, I told my school counsler something I shouldn't have. I will not tell anyone what I said, and it is very illegal for her to say.
She cannot tell anyone, she has probably forgotten by now (I've been out of school for about a year due to vertigo) and what I told her doesn't really apply to me anymore, and I will probably never see her again in my life, as I am finishing school online.
But I still freak out whenever I think about it. I'm always wound up and on edge, and I have an awful twitch in my neck.
I was very afriad to bring this up, even though I know no one on here will find out what I told her.
But, in the process of writing this... I kinda convinced myself that this is dumb; to keep worrying about this.
But still, I would like some advice on how to forget, and how to just RELAX for once. I used to be an extremely laid back person, but now I'm on the verge of panic attacks all the time, not only because of that event, though.
So, any advice, please?
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 28, 2010 8:00:16 GMT
I have the same problem as you, where I start to get emotionally worked up when I recall certain memories. When it happens, I tell myself this: "Look, self. What happened happened. There is no time machine that you can jump in and go back and change it. So instead of worrying about the past, learn from it and move on." Although, with a certain event that keeps bugging me, it actually makes me feel better to think about what I WOULD have done. XD So, it really depends. When none of the above work, I just force the thought out of my mind. I dunno how else to explain it XD I just... Purposely think of something else, and forcibly let the new thought fill my mind. I suppose I've trained myself to do this, though. It does take some effort. =P
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 28, 2010 11:31:21 GMT
I have smaller things like that happen.... Like one time when I was a dumb 4 year old, I tossed my cat off my bunk bed and actually hurt her leg. I felt horrible, I still feel kinda bad but whenever I think about it, Much like Unnamedraptor, is I hammer in the though ontop of it, that;
I did it, and I learned from it. Not going to kill me and it's not going to damn me. So, I'm going to do something important instead of waste time over meaningless things such as a memory I cannot change.
So then I think about what I'm going to do next!... Then do it! Usually something constructive that distracts me... Or if I feel like doing nothing I grab some hot tea.
It's taken practice, but memores like that, that come over me I just think of how pointless having such emotions over are, when I obviousely can't do anything, BECAUSE IT'S A MEMORY!
I hope this helped, I haven't really explained this subject before...
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Telegdrian
Centaur - Equitaur
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Post by Telegdrian on Dec 28, 2010 12:34:15 GMT
@seric
You have to remember that the past is in the past, and is something that cannot be changed, and so no energy should be expended worrying about it. We can learn from the past and acknowledge it, but we should not dwell on it. The same goes for the future, it has not yet happened, and so we should not worry about things that may or may not happen. The only thing that we have any control over is this very moment. As soon as we make a decision, it is in the past and cannot be changed and so you have no control over that, anything in the future may or may not happen, so you have no control over that either. The only thing you have control over is the moment, so you have to live in the moment, and make your decisions based on the information that you have right now. Also remember that any decisions that you have made, were the best decisions you could have made based on the information you had at the moment you made them. The information may change even seconds after the decision has been made, but by then the decision is in the past and you have no control over it. Do not dwell on things you cannot control.
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Post by uncrasamatic on Dec 28, 2010 16:48:16 GMT
I understand and can relate to how that feels. We all have those things in our lives however big or small that makes us nervous sometimes when we think back on them. The only way to get past that is to remind yourself what is done is done. You told the counselor and she may or may not remember but it's done and over with. Kicking yourself about it doesn't solve anything, only hurts you more. You've moved on from whatever it is and it no longer applies to you so try to let it go. It's a process but it's well worth it.
"Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift, that is why it is called the present."
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 28, 2010 19:06:22 GMT
@ Everyone
Thanks, guys. ^^ I have told myself these things before, but I think it helped hearing it from someone else, mostly because it's from you guys, who are close and understand. I really appreciate it. ^^
@ Jamie
Ah, I have heard that quote before. A good one, to say the least.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 28, 2010 22:13:02 GMT
@seric Have you tried meditation? Sometimes when I have a particularly unpleasant memory that won't go away I face it in my mind, accept that it has happened, learn from it and put it out of my mind.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 29, 2010 3:04:28 GMT
@ Tetters
That's a good idea.
I have meditated before, but it's more like astral projection. I do it to avoid thinking about those things. I'm going to try it again, with Jamies lessons. I just have to wait for it to get warm enough out... I live in Colorado, and it's winter, lol.
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Post by uncrasamatic on Dec 29, 2010 5:31:58 GMT
@seric
It is from Kung Fu Panda but I am sure it existed before that movie haha.
May I ask, do you need to be outside to meditate? I ask out of curiosity really.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 29, 2010 18:58:34 GMT
@ Jamie
Well, I don't have to be, but I have quite a bit of property, and I live out in the country, so it's very quiet around. I have meditated in my room before, but it's not quite the same. The fresh air and sounds of nature really help.
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Post by uncrasamatic on Dec 30, 2010 17:09:07 GMT
@seric For now you may want to do it inside because it's going to be cold for another few months. I know nothing beats meditating in nature but I also think waiting to help yourself could be a bad move.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 31, 2010 2:09:01 GMT
@ Jamie
Yeah... we got a blizzard today. XD Good call. I guess I'll just do it by a window or something.
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Post by uncrasamatic on Dec 31, 2010 3:19:26 GMT
@seric
I don't see why that wouldn't work! Good luck!
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