Advice on a Friend

[Deleted]

Well, I've got this friend who really likes me, in a romantic sense. But whenever I say I like something, like Lord of the Rings for example, he always immediatly agrees with me.

I know he's faked a couple, because I'd mention something, and he'd say he'd like it also, but he clearly wouldn't know anything about the subject.

He's a very person-oriented person. He believes people are the best thing there is, and that beasts should be slain. He didn't like Avatar because the Na'vi were killing humans, even though it was the humans fault for butting in. (And besides, HUMANS kill humans.)

But as soon as he found out I'm a dragon otherkin (I posted a meme on DeviantArt on it, it mentions Therian dreams on it) he got all exicted and started ranting about all these dreams he gets. He told me he once had a dream where he was mauled by a werewolf, and since then he has a dream about killing someone as a werewolf every full moon. He also says he never sleeps except on the full moon.

But I haven't mentioned about phantom limbs or the spirituality of being a therianthrope/otherkin, and I think because of that he hasn't even MENTIONED it. He's completely caught up in the dreams, which I honestly believe he's making up, and is acting very shallow about it.

He doesn't really seem to take it seriously at all - and I think he just wants to be like me.

I know this will be hard to believe, but it also FEELS like he isn't a therian. Since I was little, I was always able to tell when people were like me. It was a really odd feeling, but I've asked the people I felt it about and they said they are Therians, and wanted to know how I knew. But I'm still not sure if I can trust this 'feeling'.

But he has never mentioned feeling animal instincts, or phantom limbs, or the general spiritualness of being a therian. This is the other reason that I think he's faking it. (And that he seems very shallow about it.)

I talked to him this morning about it, but he denied he was faking it - but he didn't give any proof. He didn't start talking spiritual philosphy about it, he just acted angry and claimed that he had those dreams again.

I don't know how I'm supposed to talk it out of him - true, it is possible he really is a therian, but the evidence suggests otherwise, strongly.

And espically the way he talks about therianthropy, he talks lightly, like it's a game. He even claimed to be a dragon therian, too, even though he has never mentioned feeling like a dragon, and he only brought it up once I pointed out I was a dragon.

He never mentioned getting odd feelings when he was little, and he always fit in as a kid. I know that most therians say they always felt different from everyone else as a kid - I know I did.

But since he said it started after he got mauled by a werewolf in a dream - could it be something else? I get chain dreams occasionaly, but they have nothing to do with my therianthropy. Besides, I've heard that you don't BECOME a therian randomly, it's more like a long-term thing. That goes for me, too.

But he gets really upset whenever I tell him I don't think he's a therian. But he doesn't try to back himself up, he just gets grumpy and repeats himself like a child.

I can't stand it - it's like he's making fun of therianthropy, but it is a very important thing to me, and I don't want him to try and be something he's not.

What should I do? Sorry about the long post, but thanks, guys. ^^'

[Re Harakhti]

He sounds very very desperate to be accepted by you, and to have some common ground that you will appreciate and admire in him.
Truth be told, I would talk to him as normal. A friend of mine who 'liked' me did exactly the same thing. And I didn't have a clue he was faking it until he started to get O.T.T on the subjects, and his lies spiralled into one confusing mess.
But you have your observations all in order, and you are very wise about it already.
I certainly wouldn't consider dating this guy any time soon, because it's hard to see where your Personality would end, and his would begin!
(And how can you hate Na'vi?? I mean, what's with that??!)
But to lose a friendship would be a tragedy, unless it was broken over something heavily immoral.

Your feelings may very well be right about him not being Kin, so take everything he says with a pinch of salt until he can talk about it openly without you mentioning it first. But do value him in some sense, because, bless him, he's probably trying to find some common ground with you, and he must be trying rather hard to keep up.
It's all just a little fun in the end, how we all interact, so let it all play out without giving too much of yourself away. X

[Deleted]

Thank you. I'll try that. ^^

But, about not going out with him; he wants to go out with me as soon as he graduates (a week and a half) and he said I should just wait until he announces it. O.O (Which will be SOON.)

This is bad...

[Re Harakhti]

Entirely up to you Cho. Don't forget to add my name!
It depends if you like him, and whether he is 'lying' to you about himself.
If he is exaggerating the truth or making things up about who he is, etc, how do you know your relationship will be trustworthy?

Personally I would probably be worried about trust, and honesty.
He may have good intentions, but you yourself are utterly unsure about who he really is.

[Deleted]

Oh, sorry, Re. Yeah, that's pretty much what I've worried about. But again, whenever I tell him not to exaggerate or lie or be something he's not, he just gets upset and says he doesn't... even though I know he does... he's very stubborn. But he thinks he's going to get me, no matter what.

[Deleted]

Mmmm, I don't like persistent people that are a little bit too desperate. Sounds like this is the case. I'm a guy and I have known plenty of guys before and currently, annoyingly enough most of them see women as not a lot more than a possible one night stand. I'm proud to say I have always respected women. I mean, I know you are under 18 and all but be sure what this guy really want from you. A relationship or to get laid? It's not good when you get used.

And if he thinks all beasts should be slain, what can I say. Best not join this forum lmao.

[Deleted]

@cho Sora

I had an old friend (who liked me in a romantic sense) who was a wanna-be angel kin. He sounded pretty much like your friend, agreeing with me on everything and having little opinion of his own.
Perhaps he just doesn't know much about therianthrophy, or is just shy about talking about it in detail. If he's annoying or offending you in any way, I wouldn't even try to date him. Though it depends if you look at the views of therianthrophy as an element in dating. If he's just saying that he's something that he's not, then I would educate him about the topic.

I honestly don't believe that he's an otherkin/therian if he believes that he has an association with werewolves during the full moon. That just seems more of a laughable subject than a serious one- if he was a true therian/otherkin, he wouldn't need to feel violent or have phases of the moon control his true form.

[Deleted]

@kharu

Yeah, I wasn't really sure if he just wanted to use me... back when we were still new friends, he had played MASH with somebody at school, and a couple answers said this:

First love will be: Cho Sora (he hasn't gone out with anyone else yet... as far as I know.)
Will Have Sex With: Cho Sora
Will Have Sex In: England

I live in the US, but his lineage comes from England, and he is obsessed with it. He showed me the MASH sheet and I think he expected me to be... flattered? I didn't really know him then (man, that was like, eight months ago) and I still feel like he's a stranger.

He was blushing like crazy when he showed it to me, but I got really mad at him. However, we would seem to have put that behind us... for now...

But before he even asked me out, he kissed me, on the lips. I didn't really like it, and it was very akward (because I felt like I didn't know him) and he said he'd be more patient... but I don't know if he'll keep his word on that, either. O.o

I am concerned he will use me... he told me he used to look at porn, and got busted by his parents, so they made him read the bible, and made him promise not to go out with anyone until he graduates.

But thanks. You guys are really helping me think this over...

[Deleted]

@noel

Yeah, but the thing is, if I tell him more about it, then I won't be able to tell when he is making stuff up, as he will conform his information to what I've told him, to try and make it seem more believeable. But like I said, he's never mentioned feelings or phantom limbs, or the spirituality of it all.

Yeah, that's how I feel, too. He really doesn't take it seriously; I'll be trying to explain how I feel about my therianthropy (because it is very important to me, of course) and he'll say something like 'yeah' or 'whatever' and sound like he isn't really listening... then he'll change the subject to video games or something. >.>

[Re Harakhti]

Cho,
It's clear from the whole convo that you really aren't ready to date this guy, definitely not yet atleast.
So If I were you I'd take your own advice, because you seem to know the answer already.

You don't know if you can even trust him yet. So don't let him force you if you aren't comfortable.

[Deleted]

Yes. Thank you, Re. Thanks to rest of you guys, too. ^^ I really needed to talk about it...