Physically Unable to Meditate

[DarkCove]

Okay, so forgive me if this is in the wrong place/it has been discussed before, but I've searched the entire site plus the internet for advice like this but can't find anything. I'll start by describing the feeling I got while attempting to meditate properly for the first time last night. (Just gonna say I followed every step of the meditation perfectly and in theory nothing should have gone wrong).

I read my way through all the meditation practices on the teaching and guides section and committed it to memory. I laid down making sure there were no distractions (no light or music, either would have prevented me from relaxing). I was almost completely relaxed in a trance like state when a pain flared up in my forehead. At this point I was practically there in terms of meditation, I had just started to picture the top of the spiral staircase to the 'past life gallery' but the further I tried to go down, the stronger the pain got (like someone was pressing a boot into my forehead). The image became corrupted and I was left in darkness. Now what really bothered me was there was something else there (again, feel free to call me a nutter and call an exorcist). I felt extreme fear like I was actually in danger and tremors ripped me out of the state I was in. I sat up I realised my eyes were wet from crying. I'm not a negative person honestly, and it's extremely rare that anything can make me cry, especially when I wasn't even awake  . I'm simply looking for advice here, I've looked into multiple souls cohabiting a single body, but all I get is Bible verses and 'how to cleanse your soul so you can bathe in the glory of God'. I have several theories on this matter but I'm looking for advice that hasn't been swayed either way by my opinions.

Anyway, I'm willing to elaborate on anything, thanks in advance.

[Ke 'ano]

What an interesting experience. I would be careful before jumping into the multiple systems boat too quickly. I've been quick to assume that the perception of a separate entity in meditation means multiple souls in one body, or something of the like. I learned that I was wrong, however. That doesn't necessarily mean that you don't have such a situation, but I would suggest collecting more data recording your experiences before drawing any conclusions.

When I had my own experiences that suggested a multiple system, someone suggested to me that it could be a darker aspect of my being which I was unable to accept. That ended up being exactly what it was, too. I had accepted all of the positive qualities of my kintype, but not the negative ones, which manifested in meditation as a separate entity.

Ultimately, these are your experiences, so only you can know for certain. But I felt I could share a bit of myself here, and maybe you may find something that helps you. These are the questions I leave for you to explore:

1. Could this being be part of ME, and not a separate soul, but I've failed to accept it?
2. Why does this perceived being not want me to do this meditation?

Good luck with your meditations.

[G.D.]

Hey, DarkCove. My first piece of advice is to remain calm in the face of this event. Negative emotions and thoughts will likely impact you in the future. Especially if you associate them with meditation.

I have a couple theories I would like to suggest. One could be that you're simply not used to meditating. This could have caused you to simply just fail. But your failure frightened you, and caused the negative backlash. It's something that has to be built up just like any other skill. The more you do it the better you'll get at it. And sometimes it takes a small while for people to get the hang of meditation. Don't feel discouraged.

Secondly, do you think there's memories you could have repressed? Blocked memories are dangerous to try and force due to the fact that they're hidden for a reason. Sometimes, the brain isn't ready to deal with what the memory holds. Therefore it might try to do what it can to prevent you from reaching the memory. Though I find this to be a little unlikely due to the fact you just made it to the staircase.

Try not to associate anything negative with demonic or 'evil' influences. This can lead to misinterpretation of the information presented to you. And cause fear that is unnecessary. I would advise taking the day to yourself and calming down. Then trying again tomorrow. Remember, if you fear what you might find there.. it can cause negative emotions/imagery.

[DarkCove]

I have a couple theories I would like to suggest. One could be that you're simply not used to meditating. This could have caused you to simply just fail. But your failure frightened you, and caused the negative backlash. It's something that has to be built up just like any other skill. The more you do it the better you'll get at it. And sometimes it takes a small while for people to get the hang of meditation. Don't feel discouraged.

G.D., in response to the first idea, I have meditated before, this involved simply clearing my mind which came naturally. I suppose getting to the spiral staircase could take more practice, much like clearing my mind completely once did. As for failure, I was concerned with what I might find, being a skeptic for many years and then attempting to explore spirituality would do that to you.

Secondly, do you think there's memories you could have repressed? Blocked memories are dangerous to try and force due to the fact that they're hidden for a reason. Sometimes, the brain isn't ready to deal with what the memory holds. Therefore it might try to do what it can to prevent you from reaching the memory. Though I find this to be a little unlikely due to the fact you just made it to the staircase.

I did think a little about repressed memories, especially after what Ke 'ano said about their kin type. While musing I wondered if the negative being I described is simply what I was in a past life, and I can't accept it as part of me because of the vast differences between it and my current personality/everything else I have associated myself with. Personally, I find it most likely that there is something I'm hiding from myself preventing me from doing this exercise, and preventing me from 'viewing' what I once was. But hey, I'll research more into meditation so I can work it out.

Try not to associate anything negative with demonic or 'evil' influences. This can lead to misinterpretation of the information presented to you. And cause fear that is unnecessary. I would advise taking the day to yourself and calming down. Then trying again tomorrow. Remember, if you fear what you might find there.. it can cause negative emotions/imagery.

Aw man, I know I keep doing it, but the easiest way to label the negativity is to call it a demon. I think of it as a cute little nickname though, not that it is an actual 'demon'(in the western sense of the word).

1. Could this being be part of ME, and not a separate soul, but I've failed to accept it?
2. Why does this perceived being not want me to do this meditation?

Ke 'ano, I'm going to answer those questions for sure. You brought up some interesting points. I'll definitely take them into consideration since I jumped to the conclusion that the 'negative' part is simply not me far too quickly. If you are right, that means there's a yin/yang thing going on here, and that's just too convenient (and perfect) for me to believe. But hey, we'll see. Thanks for the thoughts.

[Thrix]

I wanted to ask about another way to look at this. Have you had a traumatic childhood/life? Or have you lived a life where you for one reason or another were forced to neglect certain parts of yourself for the sake of fitting in with others? I've seen people in the past with repressed dark sides due to how they were made to live their lives growing up. I'm not making any assumptions here and it's very possible you haven't but I just wanted to bring in a different perspective to the discussion. Asking never hurts right? Except in your case where you got hurt from asking yourself about past lives so I guess I'm full of **** XD

[DarkCove]

Nov 16, 2015 8:11:09 GMT Thrix said:

I wanted to ask about another way to look at this. Have you had a traumatic childhood/life? Or have you lived a life where you for one reason or another were forced to neglect certain parts of yourself for the sake of fitting in with others? I've seen people in the past with repressed dark sides due to how they were made to live their lives growing up. I'm not making any assumptions here and it's very possible you haven't but I just wanted to bring in a different perspective to the discussion. Asking never hurts right? Except in your case where you got hurt from asking yourself about past lives so I guess I'm full of **** XD

Hear me out for a second, I'm not trying to be a whiny little sh*t, but after a second meditation session which I tailored to how I felt about the matter (I'll spare you the details, perhaps post them somewhere else eventually) I saw someone go from having everything to nothing. I can't tell whether I'm creating a character that I can relate to in my head, or that I legitimately viewed something else. I'm not a religious person, I consider myself an atheist usually, but I dabble in religion and spirituality because it's interesting. What I'm trying to get to here is how it matches up with my current life, losing friends, family, homes and all in all a sense of security. It's weird and I don't like it. 

Basically, you seem like you've chilled on these forums for a while, did you ever see memories and did they strike you as oddly familiar? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

[Thrix]

Nov 16, 2015 17:30:48 GMT DarkCove said:

Hear me out for a second, I'm not trying to be a whiny little sh*t, but after a second meditation session which I tailored to how I felt about the matter (I'll spare you the details, perhaps post them somewhere else eventually) I saw someone go from having everything to nothing. I can't tell whether I'm creating a character that I can relate to in my head, or that I legitimately viewed something else. I'm not a religious person, I consider myself an atheist usually, but I dabble in religion and spirituality because it's interesting. What I'm trying to get to here is how it matches up with my current life, losing friends, family, homes and all in all a sense of security. It's weird and I don't like it. 

Basically, you seem like you've chilled on these forums for a while, did you ever see memories and did they strike you as oddly familiar? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Oh yeah, sure. I'm kinda similar to you in the sense that I'm mostly scientifically oriented but I used to be very spiritual when I was young and thus some of that still remains within me. I've written down a huge text on some other forum once that described it all but the heavily summarized version of it was that I was abandoned as a hatchling and survived by myself for most of my life until I ran into a mate that seemed to be in a similar situation to myself and after some initial distrust and quabbling we bonded and stayed together for increased survival chances. Then at some point we got attacked by a pack of carnivores and I got bitten in the throat and was quickly subdued and killed (and prolly feasted on) can't tell you what happened next for obvious reasons.

Now all of this sounds very fancy schmancy but the truth is that I only remember emotions and sensations which my brain then tries to make sense of. I believe it's something like this that you described. Emotions that strongly resonate with you and that almost seem tied to events. This is simply what I ended up with. I'm in the same boat as you with this thing. I simply can't tell if it's a character or story I identify with or if there's more to it. To be honest I lean more toward the former. If what you mention is lining up with your current life then I'd interpret that as something your mind created in order to process the pain you've dealt with. At least that's how I would've interpreted it if I had been you (and I sorta do have a similar interpretation of my own stuff). Real or not though, it IS pretty interesting and would at least make for a good story so even if you're uncertain of this entire thing I don't think it's a bad thing to pursue it further just to see what you end up with.

[DarkCove]

Not gonna lie Thrix, I'm pretty damn sure that these characters are simply creations of the mind to deal with negativity. It gives me a higher purpose, which is necessary when I'm depressed. I'll explore the spiritual side of things though just to see where it goes. There are already things that I found that I would love to unpick like the literature peasant I am, and perhaps catalogue just for inspiration whenever I'm bored. I bet it'll be fun (if I don't get the 'kicked in the face' feeling again).