Nothing Has Worked and I Really Need Help

[Vekni]

Okay, so hello Forum. Let me start with my story. 

I found out about Therianthropy a little more than a year ago and my first thought was, "Oh my gosh! There are people out there who feel exactly like me!" and my second thought was, of course, "What's my Theriotype?" That question has still not been answered. 

Now I want to assure you, I have done my research. I've watched countless youtube videos (repeatedly), read countless threads and basically followed everything to a T. I've taken a break from obsessing over it, I've researched animals till my heart just couldn't click on another Wikipedia link. Twice, I've wavered, thinking I was wrong and that maybe I had no business calling myself a Therian, because well, my Theriotype would have made itself known by now...but no matter what I did, Therianthropy still pulled me in, and each time I became more and more desperate to figure myself out. The second time I gave up, it was because I could not meditate for the life of me. Who knows how many hours I've spent alone with my lights out, trying as hard as I can to understand what the heck I'm even supposed to be doing. No matter how many videos I've watched or forums I've read, I've come across a few situations;

1. Oh, just meditate! You'll be able to figure out your Theriotype in no time! 

2. Do your research! Match your behaviors now or from when you were a child! 

3. Record your behavior. After a while, you'll be able to match patterns to animals. 


And as sound as this advice may be, It simply won't work. Each time I think I might figure out my theriotype, I second guess myself. Shouldn't I have strong feelings for these animals? I still feel like I'm looking at a computer screen. And of course, my behavior wont make it any easier for myself. 

For a while I thought I must  be a canine, because I snarl, and growl, but I also find myself hissing and yowling. I have the urge to chew on antlers and swat at cat toys, but still, I feel no strong connection to these animals. As a child, I always associated myself with dragons, but it's the same hollow feeling when I try and associate myself with them. 

I'm looking for help here, either for people to offer meditation tips, or anything really. I hope I'm reaching out to the right community. 

[Deleted]

Hello there!

It would be great if you signed up here, there are a lot of threads that can help you out (It's much more information than the 3 you've stated.) and a lot of people to talk to that can help guide you as well.

And Therianthropy is much more than just "matching your behavior." that's what I learned here. =)

[Vekni]

Yea, I've been snooping around here for a while and that's one of the reasons I decided to post...Unfortunately the help threads still don't quite answer my questions.

I know that there is more to Therianthropy, but I feel like I can't experience it to the full extent until I answer that one nagging question.

[Calico]

Hello.

Discovering one's theriotype can take a long, long time, undoubtedly. There are tons of animals out there, but if you're limiting yourself to just animals, you may wish to look into mythical creatures and other non-earthly beings. There are also prehistoric animals to look into, and animals that have yet to be discovered.

A lot of what you've described are rather human things. Growling and whatnot are things humans do. For instance, while my theriotype probably doesn't hiss, it's still something I do regularly. Humans are animals, so we do share some characteristics. Also, looking into your behaviours from when you were a child will likely prove futile. As children, we naturally imitate animals. Both kin and non-kin do this, it's not really a tell-tale sign that one is a therian.

There is no reason you should have to have strong feelings for your kintype. While you may look at them and experience a feeling of identification (which makes sense, considering you identify as that thing), don't go into this expecting a magical/intense feeling of connection and love for the thing you believe is your kintype. Many kin don't feel anything at all for their kintypes, and a number of them don't even particularly like the thing they identify as. Connections to animals has nothing to do with therianthropy. Rather, feeling a strong connection to an animal is called being animal-hearted. Therianthropy is identifying as an animal. It is you, whether you like it or not.

From what you've described, it sounds like you may be just experiencing a lot of cameo shifts, which can be very confusing. If you don't already know, cameo shifts are experiencing shifts of something that is not your kintype. Experiencing a lot of cameo shifts can be discouraging and make the discovery process unclear, as it can be difficult to differentiate between what shifts are of your kintype and which are just cameos.

Also, you may want to consider the possibility of being a polymorph or a shapeshifter. Many people who have a hard time narrowing down their kintype because they seem to move from one to another quickly, not entirely identifying as any of them but still identifying as non-human end up realizing they are polymorphs or shapeshifters, so if this sounds like what you're going through, it might be worth looking into.

My personal advice, take some time away from outside sources and excessive research because, while those are certainly very important, you'll want to get to the core of yourself first. This doesn't have to be through meditation, many kin (including myself) never meditate or cannot seem to meditate. Perhaps try some more introspection, think about yourself and your personal experiences. Learn about yourself before you learn about everything else, and hopefully knowledge of your identity will come in due time.

Best of luck.

[Deleted]

@calico couldn't have explained it any better.
Also it says you're a guest, guests are limited to the forums, not everything is opened to the "public" here, its to keep out trolls etc.

[Vekni]

Thank you both so much for your help. I'll try all these things. I've just become so fed up with wanting desperately to be a part of this community, but feel like I can't.

[Deleted]

No problem.
And from the experiences of the others on this forum is that places like Youtube, Tumblr, some Facebook groups about Therians are bad. They are just kids/teens pretending to be therians and really know nothing about it. So its possible you've ran into those groups.
Anyway hope everything works out, there are a lot of people here to help if you need anything.

[Seraphyna]

There is no "way to experience therianthropy"...it's an identity and an individual experience. The only thing it is for everyone is an identification as a non human animal.